you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
