I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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