i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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