i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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