put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
