i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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