I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
