she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
