Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
