Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
