Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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