The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
