I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
