I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We're too hungover to prance.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
