READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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