Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
