This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
