How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
