I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
honey bunches of taint.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize