the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
