i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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