She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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