I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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