What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
