i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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