I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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