YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
