Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
