The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
