Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
My balls are so social today.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
