So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
