What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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