My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
