Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
