Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so let's talk penis.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
