I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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