Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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