You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
