Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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