I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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