i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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