did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
