but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize