No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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