Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
