dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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