ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
