and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
