And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
