Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
