This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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