ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
