I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
