U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
