Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
