His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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