I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
