You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
