I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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