Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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