I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
